I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
