do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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