this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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