Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
