He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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