Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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