Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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