if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
