can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just made my gag reflex go away.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
