hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
