i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i've created a new STD.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
