how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
