Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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