Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she looked like the before picture.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
