why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
