Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
don't judge my taste in strippers
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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