i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ladies don't puke and tell
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
