Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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