I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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