Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
