Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
