I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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