its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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