If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
