i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
