I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
