I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
