So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
