glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
