oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
