i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
