I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
