So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
