i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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