No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
