Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
