We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
