if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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