Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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