Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
