Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
