you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
