im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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