Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
