morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
