Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
