No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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