just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
