wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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