You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
