Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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