My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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