Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
