I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
