i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
