my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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