Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
