Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
