she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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