your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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