Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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